The idea is to alter the perception of people, who have little understanding of bi polar episodes.
Using vivid imaging, to show what it is like, with out using any speech, combining written words,
images and audio.
It is during depressive episodes that BP-II patients often seek help. Symptoms may be syndromal
or subsyndromal. Depressive symptoms may include:
•Low energy levels
•Cessation of usual activities
•Black and white thinking
•Dysfunctional personal schemas
•Thoughts of suicide
•Isolation from people
Each episode is subjective of the person that suffers it, we may have that one thing in common, but these are triggered by many different events in a persons life. With this I want to show what it feels like for me, when I find myself in a episode. The music from this project, was made when I found myself, drifting between depression and hypomania. Initially the music was made to capture what I was feeling at this time, with regards to events in my life, I had encountered. Also at this time I was writing about what I felt, Rather than explain what it feels like, it would be more effective to do this with the use of images, words and sound. Taking you on a distrubing journey, on what at times, seems like an endless cycle of dark.
In many ways you find yourself often in silence, trapped with fear of what life will bring in your
way. Unable to reach out also, unsure of how long it will continue, or how much of it you can
endure, before you break. The pressure of expectancy on you, as those around you, struggle to
understand what is going wrong. Either through ignorance or not understanding, forcing you to seek isolation, unable to cope with social situations.
Unless you have felt what this is like, it is hard to understand it. It is also hard to explain the depth
that it goes to, at its very worst. Using the list of symptoms here as the spine of the visual aspect,
with excerpts of my own words, along with other emotions, I will attempt to show what it is like.
You cannot escape something you will never be free of, in turn you must find a way, to live with theimpact it has on your life, and find a better coping mechanism. When you feel asking for help is a display of weakness, how do you get the help you need. In these times people often assume there is nothing wrong with you, even those closest to you, as you attempt to hide everything on the inside.
Once you are in this state, you are pretty much a prisoner of yourself, breaking free becomes harder. At times the imagary and words will be disturbing, but that is the only way to give a sense, of that it feels like to be immersed in these type of emotions for sustained periods of time, becoming more unable to function normally the longer it goes on. The outlets of music and writing are a product.